Hereditary Depression

Used to think, "What a shame..." - watching my family drink away their days. Never understood what they were going through, never stopped to watch them battle uphill and now it's hard for me to sleep without taking all these pills.

Telling myself they're just a sleep aide - but they leave me such a delightful haze. Laying in the dark, staring at what I imagine to be the walls and the ceiling that keep me from floating free.

Used to think it was their choice, to live life in such a state, but now I see through the drugs, they didn't choose this pain.

I swallow to sleep, I booze off the pain. I write down all my feelings just to chase these blues away whn I know that all I'm doing is wasting a score of beautiful days.

My college days..was so sure I had it all made. Felt like I owned the world. I was much too cocky for an ordinary girl. Teachers say, "You have to work it out", but the only time I've ever felt self doubt is when I'm trying to plan out my life. Can't always be right about these things..Lord only knows what the future will bring?

Now I travel this country, a citizen privileged by birth, trying to figure out what I'm worth. I meet all these people so different than me..but by learning from them, I'm being set free. All that I'm really trying to prove is that if you just don't give up, there's no way you can lose.

Take it from me, an ordinary girl - if you just keep on going, you can take on the world.